I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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