i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
