Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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