when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
