Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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