I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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