just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize