Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Randomize
