Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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