With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize