Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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