Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
