I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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