Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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