With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
