i just had sex bonerless
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
