We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
