Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
