he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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