I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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