Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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