I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize