I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
