Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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