just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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