Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
my penis made a compromise with my morals
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
