College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
