need another drink. this is the easiest way
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize