you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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