What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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