Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
