i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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