Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
