I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize