I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
