omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
