naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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