I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
