Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wear drunk well.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
