She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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