just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
