i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
there was a trapeze. enough said
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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