so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
