I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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