I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
