yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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