just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
