Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
The Olympian is in my bed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
