I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
