We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I know her cup size but not her name....
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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