called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
