Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
