I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
