what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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