Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
You're like the curious george of whores
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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