i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He passed out mid-signature
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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