he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
