based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
