Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
