I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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