Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
